My Cup Overflow'eth

What a day. In the space of 12 hours, I experienced in microcosm the spectrum reactions I have to China. Capping off my weekend in the countryside, I was a somewhat unwilling guest at a wedding for someone I didn't know (an old schoolmate of my host and friend, Jerry). I had previously only attended one wedding in China, and that was enough for me to know that they weren't really my idea of an afternoon well spent.

Today was exceptionally bad--an overcrowded hotel restaurant, no air conditioning to combat the mugginess, the wedding march played over and over AND OVER again on the PA, interminable speeches/teasing by a random MC that constituted the "ceremony," silly string, and popping of balloons by children--all contributed to a pretty riotous and obnoxious scene. If that isn't enough for you to feel sorry for me, consider this--the food was terrible. Sigh. We escaped after I did a round of toasts with several tables of strangers who welcomed me to China, to Hejiang City and wished me happiness every day. Those well-wishes not withstanding, I had a headache, and was more than a little annoyed at having been co-opted into the event.

By the time I made it home to retreat to my bed for a little while, I wasn't really feeling much love in my heart towards my adoptive home which I'm leaving in three weeks. The wedding kind of epitomized most everything I tend to hate about this country--mass juvenile behavior by adults in the service of "tradition," bizarre imitation of Western customs, drunk men deciding that their knowledge of the English word "hello" suddenly is reason to corner me for several minutes, noise pollution, and the concept of "face" (as in saving or losing it) hamstringing people from conducting themselves as they perhaps know or wish they could.

But, this day has a happy ending. Tonight I had been informed that the honor of my presence was requested by the English majors at the school canteen at 7 pm. I was met at the bus stop by two of my students, Bear and Grass, who had an air of covert operations about them. As we approached the canteen, Bear phoned ahead and my suspicion that something was up was confirmed. I walked through the closed door to find all my students on their feet, and was greeted with cheers and (more) silly string, surprise! My farewell extravaganza had begun.


The stairway leading up to my special night.

In case you can't see...that says "Mary we (heart) U" :-D

The evening was a typical party, meaning that it was a program of about 17 acts, consisting of speeches, games, dances, songs and plays. Two students played host and hostess, announcing the upcoming events. Bear said that they'd spent all day preparing the room and practicing their performances. It was just wonderful. Streamers and balloons festooned the room, and I was seated in a place of honor before a swatch of red carpet serving as the stage for the evening. I don't think I've ever been feted to quite a degree before in my life. When asked to give a brief speech at the start, I predictably choked up, quite overcome by the sincere and intense effort my students--all by themselves--had thrown into the evening. What I had been trying to say, and what I later took a more composed moment to say, was that my students have been the best part of this adventure for me, and for as much as they won't forget me, I won't ever forget them or this experience.

The assemblage.

Brandy and Jerry, the two capable MCs.


The sophomore boys, belting out "Take Me To Your Heart," which anyone who has spent more than a month in China knows, like it or not.


A riddle/balance game. The guy second from the right is Plato, who you can see has lots of determination, but no skill with riddles.

It has somehow become known that I have a July birthday. My students were crestfallen when they found out I'd already be back in the US by the time it rolled around, and so tonight was not only a farewell, but also a birthday party, complete with cake, candles and song. Over and over, on the mic and off, I heard "Happy Birthday!" "We love you!" "We'll miss you!" When at last I left the room after the party was over, I found all the students lined up in the darkened stairway, each with a glowing red candle in their hands. It was so lovely, and my heart was so touched seeing their smiles and shining eyes as I walked down the three flights. It is a night that I will never forget, and one that pretty completely erases all negative traces of the earlier afternoon. In this land of sharp contradictions sitting side by side, today was an example of things that for me are some of the best and worst of it all.